I am a thinker...always have been and always will be. I think at one speed...slow. Words usually are a thinkers best friend but for me they simply make me think more. What words should I use to describe that? I am trying to think of what to say or how to communicate my thoughts but the words just aren't coming to me? Why? How can this be better? How did I mess up? How do they make it?build it?say it? The questions never end. Thinking is simply a long conversation with yourself minus the verbal exchange of words. Anyone else?
As for planning, I love the idea of planning, even believe in it's importance in every aspect of life. But it just doesn't come naturally to me. As with any other unnatural bent I must bend beat and break my habits into this unnatural state and surround myself around those who are naturals.
Accept that you live under a plan. Independence is only the freedom to enjoy less discipline. If you enter an airport, they have planned where you will board the plan. If you wanted to use a different gate, you would be corrected and sent to the right gate. If you snuck through the baggage claim and into the pit crew's quarters, and onto the snack truck to board the plane with the peanut case, you may have found your own way to board the plane (assuming you were not corrected along way), but it was still part of the plan to get those peanuts on the plane. You simply had the freedom to discover a different part of the plan. But you did not plan that.
*side note: following Christ involves letting go of my plan, and getting with His. In fact, our heart, and the creation or existence of it, is the very evidence that Christ sometimes feels like breaking away from the normal to discover the unplanned.
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